What Love Is Not by Michelle Inspired By Fifty Shades Of Grey

Photo credit: universal Pictures

The Fifty Shades of Grey movie has aroused a lot of controversies lately and quite a number of people have had a lot to say about the book and now, the movie.

Whether I will watch it or get down to reading the book is something that I am yet to decide. Although, it looks like the cinemas are trying to make it harder for me by scheduling it for late night when I should be home and getting ready for the next day.

I recently read a post by Tosin of Africanism Cosmopolitan which diected me to the post by Michelle of Bonbon Break. Two similar views but from two different backgrounds. Whilst I haven't read the book or seen the movie, here are a few deep words of advice as given by Michelle on Bonbon Break:

"* Don’t allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool you into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. Please, my son, don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.

*  If someone wants to be with you, turning up at your part-time job unannounced when you haven’t ever even discussed that you have one and acting possessive when a co-worker talks to you is not romantic. It’s creepy.

*  If you say you’re a virgin and he responds by violently deflowering you, that’s not love. That’s assault.

* If he tracks your whereabouts when you’re out clubbing and takes you to his hotel when you’re too drunk to make a rational decision, then undresses you and puts you in his bed for the night, that’s not protective. It’s stalking. In fact, stalking is the least of what it is.

* If he turns up inside your apartment uninvited, it’s not romantic. It’s breaking and entering.

* If you tell him you’re not interested and you ask him to leave and he responds by tying you to your bed and having violent sex with you after you repeatedly say “no,” all the while threatening to do worse if you make a noise, it’s not passion. It’s rape.

* If he sells your car and buys you a new one without your permission “to surprise you,” it’s not romantic. It’s theft and manipulation.

* If he monitors your phone calls and threatens you with physical harm because another man calls you, he’s not in love with you. He’s abusing and controlling you.

* If beating you with a leather strap until you cry is what gives him pleasure and he asks you to do it despite your distress because it turns him on and then plays the victim to explain it all away, there is no soundtrack in the world that should quiet the voice in your head that yells out that love and romance were never in the picture and they never will be."

You can read all the story as told by Michelle in her letter to her children on Bonbon Break. 

Would you still want to see the movie?

With love,

Oma!